May 21, 2013

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

My earliest human memory is going to a rocky beach in Zamboanga and swimming there. I was around 2-3 years old. Very hazy but my mom validates this memory. :) 

8:39am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6xlU_pzV
February 17, 2013

My six-year old daughter is becoming more and more vocal about her thoughts and emotions. That’s why when i saw this poem, I immediately thought of her. I’m thinking this is what she’s feeling inside.

I Never Said I Wasn’t Difficult

I never said I wasn’t difficult, 
I mostly want it my way.
Sometimes I talk back or pout, 
And don’t have much to say.
I’ve been known to yell ‘so what’
When I’m stepping out of bounds, 
I want you there for me
Yet, I dont want you around.
I wish i had more privacy, 
And never had to be alone.
I want to run away
But im afraid to leave my home.
I’m to tired to be responsible
But I wish I were the boss, 
I want to blaze new trials
Im terrified to get lossed.
I wish an answer would come everytime I asked you ‘why’
I wish you wer’nt a know it all 
Why do you question me when I’m bored? 
I don’t want to be crossed examined, 
I hate to be ignored.
I know I shuffle messages like cards, 
Some to show and some to hide, 
but if you think I’m hard to live, 
you should try me on the inside. 

Melissa Ramey

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-never-said-i-wasn-t-difficult/

9:17pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6xeOk2Kc
Filed under: difficult child daughters poem parenthood 
February 13, 2013
For My Valentine

The World is Not a Pleasant Place to Be
by Nikki Giovanni

the world is not a pleasant place
to be without
someone to hold and be held by

a river would stop
its flow if only
a stream were there
to receive it

an ocean would never laugh
if clouds weren’t there
to kiss her tears

the world is not
a pleasant place to be without
someone

Happy Valentine’s Day, meme!

 

 

 

http://poetry365.tumblr.com/post/374184041/the-world-is-not-a-pleasant-place-to-be-nikki-giovanni

10:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6xe67Uw9
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: love poem Valentine husband 
October 19, 2011
The Inevitable

Last night, as I was checking my FB, i chanced upon the posts of 2 colleagues from my TLS days extending their condolences to another colleague. Stunned as i was, I opened the ‘deceased’ colleague’s FB page to see hundreds of similar posts on her wall. She died? She was very active posting on FB, in fact i can remember her last post was just this week or last week.  

This morning, i went to FB again to finally verify the news and get a post from her brother regarding the details of her wake. I still don’t know what she died of. She seemed so vibrant and healthy and happy in her posts and pictures. Her last condition was a sprained ankle which, to me, didn’t sound serious. Anyway, hope to get more information on her death. Right now, i’m feeling a bit glum on her death. 

She was only 30 years old.  We shared our love for kikay things but didn’t get close enough to be good friends. I am saddened by her sudden loss. this made me realize a few (and some cliche) things. Please note that I am basing these on my observations of her through her posts and my recollections of her as my colleague in TLS. 

1. She accomplished a lot already throughout her young life. Although yes, it may seem she still had a lot of things unfinished, i think her numerous other accomplishments can vouch that she has done many many things. 

**** In my 20’s, i always thought that I’d fulfill all my dreams by the time I’m 32…that’s when, i said, the Lord can take me. I’m 33, and i feel that my major accomplishments would be marriage and motherhood. so maybe there are more things in store for me? (fingers crossed!)

2. i know death is an inevitable part of life. we cannot live forever. For me, she was an epitome of carpe diem…she lived and did everything she wanted to in life. i do not know her well enough to say if she had any regrets, but i’m sure that was few and far between. :) 

**** I sometimes wonder why some people just have all the gusto and probably luck in life. It’s my impatience talking, so I should just keep wishing and hoping and praying and planning. :) 

I finished teaching my classes today. still feeling a bit gloomy like eeyore.

 Thank you for making realize these things. I am truly honored to have met you and worked with you. Rest in Peace, Maj. 

11:25pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6xAuI_C0
(Notes: 8)
  
Filed under: death dying young 
October 12, 2011
why can’t I have my cake?

i don’t know if this goes on with married couples… but why is it that it is ok for the husbands to do their stuff (sports, drink, hang out) while it’s pahirapan for the wife? Is it my husband? Maybe it’s our differences? i don’t go out every weekend with my friends, most of which are moms too. But once in awhile, when there is an invitation to do so, I go out. It’s seldom really, because we all have conflicting schedules and it’s those rare times we cherish. 

Case in point. My friend invited couples to a dinner and it so happens it coincides with his schedule. In my memory we haven’t had a get together in a year. my heart sank when he prioritized his sport. while i have no complaints about pursuing one’s passion, i guess it’s the opportunity lost that I felt bad for. i didn’t want him to take it against me should i drag him there. i let him have his way. 

Hence the title. I wanna relish my cake too… calories and all. I just have to pound it in my head that I am always the one to sacrifice for the greater good. In the end, it’s the love that prevails. Next topic! 

Let me at that cake!!!

4:47am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6xAaS7Qv
(Notes: 19)
  
Filed under: eating my cake imbalance giving in sacrifice for love 
September 27, 2011
Food on the table

September 27, 2011. Typhoon Pedring struck Metro Manila and parts of Luzon. For Metro Manila, there was more damage to those living in Manila, Pasay, Quezon City. The US Embassy was flooded to the knee. Hotel Sofitel had their beautiful pool flooded with debris and mudwater. All that damage in one day. 

I am thankful that we only had a power outage for 6 hours, so that my daughter could nebulize. She was having difficulty breathing, and of course the only solution was to to that…and i was able to at 10AM after i bought her meds and power came back. Other than that, the day went okay. We saw news reports of the havoc Pedring wrecked. One particular shot that struck me was that of a pedicab being torn to pieces by flood and strong winds as the driver was trying to escape. I felt so bad for the man. I saw in the blurry video how bad he felt seeing his livelihood in shreds. My daughters saw that and i told them how we should be thankful we are safe and we are all okay. Some people like that man still did his job as a pedicab driver so that he could earn a little to put food on the table for his family. My younger daughter A2 said, “That’s why we have to work!” I guess I made her realize a few things. :) 

11:30pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6xA16CPr
(Notes: 8)
  
Filed under: pedring pedicab food on the table work 
September 21, 2011
It’s only Words

We discussed Ode to Thanks by Pablo Neruda. In the wonderful style of Neruda, the poem is beautiful and powerful. Here it is: 

Thanks to the word
that says thanks!
Thanks to thanks,
word
that melts
iron and snow! 
The world is a threatening place
until
thanks
makes the rounds
from one pair of lips to another,
soft as a bright
feather
and sweet as a petal of sugar,
filling the mouth with its sound
or else a mumbled
whisper.
Life becomes human again:
it’s no longer an open window.
A bit of brightness
strikes into the forest,
and we can sing again beneath the leaves.
Thanks, you’re the medicine we take
to save us from
the bite of scorn.
Your light brightens the altar of harshness. 
Or maybe
a tapestry
known
to far distant peoples.
Travelers
fan out
into the wilds,
and in the jungle
of strangers,
merci
rings out
while the hustling train
changes countries,
sweeping away borders,
then spasibo
clinging to pointy
volcanoes, to fire and freezing cold,
or danke, yes! and gracias, and
the world turns into a table:
a single word has wiped it clean,
plates and glasses gleam,
silverware tinkles,
and the tablecloth is as broad as a plain. 
Thank you, thanks,
for going out and returning,
for rising up
and settling down.
We know, thanks,
that you don’t fill every space-
you’re only a word-
but
where your little petal
appears
the daggers of pride take cover,
and there’s a penny’s worth of smiles.

thanks to http://tylerpoems.blogspot.com/2010/04/ode-to-thanks.html 

I asked my students for other words that have powerful effect on people. They gave words like hello, sorry, goodbye, okay/k, love, etc. 

IN the end, one of the things my students learned is that words or what they say can have profound effects on the people they say it to.

Thanks for reading!  

6:14am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6x9mU8cg
Filed under: ode to thanks pablo neruda words 
August 24, 2011
Changed layout

My fickle self decided to change my blog layout again. I like this newspaper-like layout. More pleasing to the eye compared to the pinky one. :)

I miss doing layouts. Sometimes, I wanna pursue further studies in graphic design, but then i feel like a dinosaur who won’t be able to get ‘hired’ for my classic/ old school style.

then i found a course in Full Sail University. It’s a MS in Education Media Design and Technology. From the looks of it, it looks like a combination of education (my profession) and design (my hobby). then i saw the tuition.. Maybe in a few years when I’m more stable financially. :( right now, all I can do is dream, dream dream… 

10:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6x8juwsG
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: full sail graphic design oldie 
August 23, 2011
Good mom, Bad mom

My mom says she finds it difficult to communicate with my sister. I can picture my sister a pitiful little girl being scolded…she’s 30 now. 

i feel so bad for her

As a mom now, I would not want to be that way to my kids. I try my best to know their personalities so that i can connect to them more. I would do my best to be patient with them and really adjust to their characters. 

One of the hottest issues in the US is the hot sauce mom in Alaska. A1 asked me about it when she heard the little boy cry. I explained what made the mom upset and so that’s how she punished the child. I told her that was very cruel and that moms are not supposed to be angry that way. She then answered, “You’re not like that. You’re a good mom!” That made my night. :) 

11:52pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z_bt6x8heELI
Filed under: good mom bad mom little sister children 
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